Thursday, September 10, 2009

A Cry for Help!!!


Hello out there? Is this really working? My name's Whiz Peterson and my friend Gavin told me that I could send a message to anyone on this computer. I didn't even know the library had a computer we could use. I'm usually not allowed in the library. Books and water don't mix I guess.

Well, if this really does what Gavin says it will do, I'd like to send a message to Herb Overight the so-called inventor of The De-Piddler. It doesn't work! Believe me I've tried. All it does is make me have to go ten times worse and now my elbows squeak whenever I raise my hand in class. What's that all about? There are enough squeakers in this school and I don't want to join their club! I want my money back. It says so on the box that if this product doesn't live up to my expectations I can send it back for a full refund. Well I'm wearing a barrel again, I've ruined six pairs of house slippers and Mrs. Mobley is wearing a neck brace because of a nasty little spill in the fifth grade wing that the janitor is still cleaning up. It's not my fault! You said that The De-Piddler was so piddle proof there would be no need to wear any precautionary devices like galoshes or rubber pants or an upside down umbrella. That was a lie and now poor Mrs. Mobley is paying the price.

The problem is I don't know where to send this thing. I sort of ruined the box. It's all wet and I can't read the return address. So, would you please send me...


Um... hello? Is that you Mr. Overight?

... MR. WHO...

I'm trying to get my money back for my De-Piddler.


It's ruining my life.


This barrel is awkward.


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