Sunday, October 11, 2009

Four Hips' Prediction

I don't normally allow spectators to watch while I perform a prediction for a customer. Since Four Hips thought that spectator was the term used for whatever was left on his plate after eating French Fries, I'm not too concerned of breaking protocol.

"Do I really have to do it?" - Four Hips

"Yes!" - Me

"But spinning might make me throw up." - Four Hips

"Fine, just give me the pizza." - Me

(Sounds of pizza box being pushed through the slot)

"This is missing half the pieces!" - Me

"Uh... that's how it was when I bought it." - Four Hips

"But it's not even cooked yet!" - Me

"Can we just get on with this? I don't want to miss lunch." - Four Hips

"Lunch is not for another hour and a half." - Me

"Yeah, but I go early." - Four Hips

"All right, what question do you have for the All-Seeing Oracle?" - Me

"Right. Okay, I'm a little nervous." - Four Hips

"You should be. You are standing in the presence of the great one!" - Me

"Yeah, so what's it like in that locker?" - Four Hips

"What?" - Me

"I mean, you have a microwave, right? And people bring you pizzas all day?" - Four Hips

"Uh... yes." - Me

"So, um... did you apply for this job?" - Four Hips

"Four Hips, do you have an actual question for me today?" - Me

"Oh, right, yes, yes I do." - Four Hips

"Well?" - Me

"Um, do you know what we're having for lunch today?" - Four Hips

"For lunch?" - Me

"Yeah, like do you know what's on the... menu?" - Four Hips

"You mean to tell me, you don't know what's for lunch today?" - Me

"Nope." - Four Hips

"Do you ever know?" - Me

"Nu-uh." - Four Hips

"Do you even know what it is you're eating for lunch when you're in the middle of eating it?" - Me

"Oh man, that would be awesome!" - Four Hips

"Turkey Ka-bobs." - Me

"Yes, please." - Four Hips

"No, that's what you're having for lunch today." - Me

"For reals?" - Four Hips

"Yes, but they post the menu on the door of the cafeteria. You could've figured this out yourself." - Me
"No way." - Four Hips

"I'm afraid so." - Me

"There's a door to the cafeteria?" - Four Hips

"Look, your time is up. Please move along." - Me

"Turkey Kabobs are my favorite." - Four Hips

"I bet and you just gave away half a perfectly good pizza for nothing. Ha!" - Me

"No I didn't." - Four Hips

"Yes, you did." - Me

"I don't think so." - Four Hips

(sound of Four Hips licking his lips)

"Wait! Hey! How did you do that? I was just holding that pizza in my hands and now it's gone!" - Me
"I have a condition. I'm really sorry." - Four Hips

"Be gone with you!" - Me

"Thanks for the free prediction! I can't wait for lunch!" - Four Hips

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